Book Review: Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life

Here on Amazon.

Tag line: “A groundbreaking exploration of why we want what we want, and a toolkit for freeing ourselves from chasing unfulfilling desires.”

The concept of Mimetic Desire is one of those Silicon Valley truisms that had its moment. My view was that the concept was pretty self-explanatory, so why read a whole book about it? But, after seeing it recommended a few more times, I thought I would take the plunge and borrow it from Libby.

I’m glad I read the book - it was a pretty quick read - and engaged deeper with the concept. The topics cover many of what I experience in life: convincing people of your expertise; the importance of the first follower; accumulating social proof; etc.

The author lost some credibility with the Dan Price example (recall the founder who supposedly gave up $1M in salary to boost employee minimum salary and has since resigned in disgrace). He did get great press, though.

A few key quotes/reflections:

On desires, rivalry, and competition:

“Desire, like gravity, does not reside autonomously in any one thing or person. It lives in the space between them.”

“We are more threatened by people who want the same things as us than those who don’t.”

“Rivalry is a function of proximity. when people are separated from us by enough time, space, money, or status, there is no way to compete seriously with them for the same opportunities.”

On creating desire in others:

“The investors who molded their own desirability — who postured as selective and demanding — took on a higher value in his mind than the one investor who didn’t.”

“The fastest way to become an expert is to convince a few of the right people to call you an expert.”

On getting to the truth:

“The key is carefully curating our sources of knowledge so that we are able to get down to what is true regardless of how many other people want to believe it. And that means doing the work.”

I recommend the book and the concept. I was reflecting on it with a friend - who was a mimetic high school rival - and noted that we’ve both spent our careers in brutally competitive environments facing world-class individuals who were smart, motivated, and talented. And that seemed to create a lot of mimetic frenzy, anxiety, hubris, etc.

However, the people I’d put on my mimetic list are usually my closest friends - people I’d like to work with, spend time with, invest with, talk with, etc. The group I play the game with has driven me to sharper, stronger, and more resilient. So there’s that.